9:39:32 - the time.

Legend has it, that before you die, your entire life flashes before your eyes. People always say they "live their life crazy, so it's something good to watch." I don't believe this. I believe that the moments when you feel free, broken, joyful, beautiful, and at one with yourself, are the moments that live on with you forever. I know moments I will remember until my death bed. Like the first time I danced as a ballerina on stage. The time I met my best friend, who's been through it all since the age of three, on a tricycle. Or the first time I had my heart broken in 8th grade, and I couldn't stop playing the song "Best I Ever Had," because I believed that was the best I would ever have. Little did I know, I would look back on that and laugh. The first time I lost my innocence. The first time I ever wrote a song. I still have it, it's called "Meant to be." The time when a lady told me I would never be a cheerleader. The night I received the title of Homecoming Queen. I remember the first boy I really think I ever loved, and how he brought me a rose, with a note telling me how amazing he thought I was. The time I drove home to Taylor Swift's song "Last Kiss" and cried the entire way, because I realized what I had to let go of. The time I accepted Jesus into my life, then my world got turned upside down crazy good. The one time, my best friend, who taught me a lot, and I went on a photography spree. She discovered her passion, I felt beautiful. When my dad got in a car accident and broke his rib cage, but no one would tell me. I got locked out of my house when I was five, because it was on fire. I remember being stood up on my first "middle school date," because I cried the entire way home. When I got to go to New York, I never wanted to go anywhere else again. I got to see John Mayer, with my best friend, and we stood about 50 feet away from him. The time I asked the boy who meant the world to me to meet me in the back of my neighborhood, I jumped out of the car in my tri-hi-y dress, gave him a rose, and asked him to dance with me to our song. He laughed at me, but I got him to dance. On the way home, I just thought about how scared I was to ever let him go. I remember the last time I kissed him and what it felt like. The time when my parents told me they were having marriage problems. The time that they told me they had really begun to fix their marriage. When I got to drive by myself for the first time, I thought I would never be more excited. The first time I sat in my room, crying all night, because my heart was shattered. I also recall, the first time I cried because of how much strength I had through true heart break.  But most of all, I remember the time I looked in the mirror and realized who I was. There are so many more memories to define that girl. There are so many memories I wish I could remember. There are so many moments that, if God allowed them to continue on forever, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I believe in memories. I believe that they make you who you are. The lessons you learn from the mistakes and memories, are the lessons that shape you. Do not EVER let someone take a memory away from you. "Don't regret anything, because at the time it was everything you wanted" is the stupidest lesson I've ever heard. No regrets, yeah, good lesson. But everything you do, is not always what you want. Over the next 6 months, until I graduate high school, I am going to make some of the best memories of my life. I promise you, everything that I do within those 6 months will not be what I want to do. Yes, it will be what God wants me to do. It still doesn't change the fact that things are tough. Memories are beautiful. Memories are hurtful. Memories are glorious. Memories are me. Memories are you. Memories are us. But, if you have a memory that you can't let go of for a good reason... hold onto it. It just proves that there is something better out in the world, that you have yet to discover again. So live like a little child. This way, you laugh, get hurt, laugh again. And out of those three things, I promise you'll remember your favorite part. Make your life worth watching, not only by yourself, but everyone around you.