The shovel of God.

Have you ever lost sight of who you were? Not because you meant to, but because you finally settled. One of my best friends, Stella, told me the other day that she thought I would never slow down. She reminded me of my dreams to move to New York and fall in love. She reminded me of who I was. She reminded me of who I still am, now that I can see clearly. When I fell in love with God, I didn't have to give up my dreams. I had to give up pursuing them, if they weren't what God wanted for me. I thought losing sight of who I was came along with giving God control. I settled these past few months. I've been settling since January of this year. Actually, I've been settling my whole life. God deserves my best, and he will never cause me to settle. He will provide the best out there for me, including a career, man, and friends. "Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed, some women aren't meant to run wild and free until they find someone who can run with them." Why do we settle? I've found that when we settle, it's harder to move on. You know why? Because we aren't giving ourselves enough credit, so we feel like there is something more left. When we do not live the lives God has called us to live, we settle deeper, deeper, and deeper into the dirt, causing it to be harder for us to get out. But I've learned, especially now that all is said and done, that I have a pretty good shovel - God. Have you ever fought for something? Fought with it all of your might? And fought until you almost killed yourself? Well I have. And don't ever fight for another person, who doesn't want to be fought for. Don't give your heart to someone, that doesn't believe in you. Don't fight for anything other than God's glory and will. Have you ever lost sight of who you were, because of something you've fought for? I have. This is a new year. I'm finally a senior. A senior. I have my whole life before me. My heart is finally in the right place, and I can look forward to my future with God. I know now who I am. Who I want to be. And who I was. i will never be here again, I promise. For once in my life, I will learn without making the same mistake twice. I have finally let go. And i'm fighting for God now. That's it. Because God is the only one who can run with me, until I know it's okay, not to settle, but slow down.