The five things.

What do you do when you've given everything you've got and you just feel like giving in? You push on. When you get to this point, don't push on for the same reasons. There are five things that I am working on right now, and these things are changing all of my reasons. Trust, following, patience, forgiveness and happiness. Trust is something that I do way to easily, which is why I always end up back in the same place. I must trust the Lord, with everything in me, that there are plans bigger than the ones I have set my heart on. Have you ever thought about that? When God has your heart and you set it on something other than His glory, you are stealing it away because it is no longer yours. I must trust in the Lord with all of my friendships, relationships, and the futures that come out of any of those. Following is something that I do not do very well. I have always been told I am a leader, but I think that's just because I fight for what I believe in. I have never let anyone stand in the way of my dreams. But I have never had to surrender, and give someone else control. Why is it that we are driven by pain, and not by the will of the Lord? I MUST give Lord control, because I am not doing a very good job at it. Following behind someone who knows everything you've ever seen, more than you do, and everything you haven't, should not be so hard. Has God made it so hard to follow him, offering rewards if we do? or are we just stubborn? Patience. It's such a simple word, but it describes time. Time is the center of everything. Patience must come with  school, falling in love, friendships, and growing up. Time is all around us. But I know that I must learn to be patient, because the Lord has it all in his own time. What is a year? What is a decade? It is a blink in God's eye. Think about that next time you want to rush something.. you have eternity with God. Time doesn't matter, if your using it for His glory. Forgiveness, not forgetfulness. People say you should always forgive, never forget. I beg to differ. When you are legitimately forgiven, then it is legitimately forgotten. I have screwed up so many times, and so has every other thing with air in it's lungs. But I believe that not forgiving someone only hurts you. They can continue on with their lives, while the whole time you are left hurt and torn. Not getting forgiveness from someone is also hard sometimes, especially when you've forgiven them time after time. God did not call us to hold "unforgiveness" in our hearts, he did tell us to forgive and I honestly think he wants us to forget. Happiness. One thing i've learned is it comes from inside. This summer, I lost myself. I lost the person that I was, while searching for who I wanted to be. I know now who I want to be, and that person is happy. I love being happy, just as much as anyone else does, so why do we live off of pain? Why does pain drive us so much further than happiness? We learn more from pain, than we do happiness because we take it for granted. But happiness shouldn't be just when things are going good. Happiness should be obvious when things are going bad. When things are going bad, you should be thankful that you've had something to fight for or to lose. When you're happy because things are good, you aren't truly happy. It's when things are bad, and you're happy, that you are one of a kind. I don't want to be happy when things are good, I've learned that I can be happy, even more so, when things are bad. God is happiness. God is truthful and trustworthy. God is THE leader. God is patient. God is forgiving. God is what I know can help me with these five things.